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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

I haven't blogged in a very long time. It's unfortunate too but lately I've been stressed with choosing colleges and regents. Due to lack of writing I wrote something for you guys. Well for like the two people that actually take the time out to read my ramblings.

"The wind was the only sound in my room. It grazed my arms from time to time and kissed the panels on the walls. The room stayed silent. At times I would hear rustling from the other rooms on the second floor. Words continuously sent through technology into her heart. From what I’ve been hearing which isn’t much is He’s devoted to her. His heart is stitched onto her sleeve. His adulation continues to cultivate. From the LCD screen she sees his smile. Sometimes it widens when she transmitted the right words. Touch wasn’t a need for them. In a way I hoped she’d stop continuing her endeavors. Because these endeavors hurt me every single waking day. Knowing that his heart doesn’t belong to me and knowing that I’m never good enough to get an acknowledgement from the port world. "-Amanda Lee

I made this strictly from my heart :)

Check this out.

I love these graphics. There are so meaningful. At this moment I'm saving a bunch of them into this little Hp computer.
http://www.wordboner.com
http://fueledbyphotos.tumblr.com
http://mylittlesecretshh.tumblr.com
http://writeathometheblog.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
http://thedreamfiles.com/

The words that makes circulation of thoughts zoom.

This piece that I'm about to share with you is one of the best writing I've ever seen in my life. It touched me. I need to take a creative writing class after seeing this. It made my heart pound. Seriously

He makes movies in dirty golden hotels with girls like Eva – Eva against sequined curtains and spilled drinks, Eva with a twisted ankle and bruised arms from wearing heels while tripping on the steps of the grand staircase while no one was watching. He makes movies where girls like her have low husky voices, whispering across candlelit tables while sultry angels escape from her lips and through the end of her Nat Sherman cigarettes. And Eva is like wine, heady and rich, spilling over white satin sheets and heavy curtains and staining the carpets. Her lipstick is on the white linen napkins, pressed against the rim of slender champagne flutes, on the starch-white collar of his tuxedo shirts and he slowly falls in love with her until he can taste the dark-chocolaty confection of her hair as it melts against his tongue like cloudy cotton candy, until he sees her emerging from the shadows in his dreams wearing black satin gloves, only her shoulders exposed in the dark.

Sometimes he watches Eva’s back as she walks away – the shadows are thrown across the curve of her elongated spine, delicately creeping against the purple satin of her gown as it disappears against the smoothness of her waist. She catches his glances as he stares through the camera at the dark fringe of eyelashes brushing against the top of her cheeks. Her lines escape her perfectly molded mouth, after momentarily wrapping around the stained red paper of her cigarette. The words are reminiscent of a bold, dark whisper, emanating from the back of her throat and escaping through the perfect red stain of her lips. He feels her breathe through the camera sometimes, as his camera follows the curves in her shoulders, in her back. Her words caress his neck and brush the collars of his shirt like buttery lipstick-kisses.

(Sometimes he thinks he will send her flowers, four dozen buttery white roses, bouquets of fluttering pink peonies, soaking in chilled bottles of champagne. He will send her white cream cakes covered in tiny pink rosettes, cold martinis, the poison red of maraschino cherries sinking in the alcohol. Silk elbow-length gloves, diamond-encrusted hair barrettes. Sometimes he thinks, after the camera stops, that he will approach her and touch her arm, and she will laugh, elongating the arch in her back, her gloved fingers pressed against the redness of her mouth, but he never does.)

Eva drinks blonde champagne, and he dreams about her body in long black dresses floating in a bubbling crystalline flute. In his dreams she is refracted by the glittering chandelier, casting little flecks of light across her face and shoulders, onto the darkness of his tuxedo. In his dreams she smells like Chanel and the roses in her room, the gardenias in her shampoo, spilled across her satin pillowcases. He is close to the nape of her neck, to the chignon sweeping back her hair. During the days, his camera obstructs his view and he can only watch her from its shadow, only when he pans across her face, her lips, the skin right underneath her earlobe. He feels as if she is staring at him from behind her curtain of lashes like a lover, a leopard ready to pounce. She smolders.

At night, Eva climbs the velvet staircase, the train of her purple satin gown trailing on the steps behind her, the flickering chandelier lights illuminating the skin behind her elbows, on her back. And she is cast in shadows, slowly disappearing through the hotel hallways, until he can no longer smell the Chanel against her neck. He finishes his drink, tumbling in his lowball glass, and he goes to his room, dreaming of her low husky voice, her lips wrapped around her Nat Sherman cigarettes.

Lack of Coherency my small ass... this is touching

Lately I haven't been posting anything of intellect lately. Maybe because my mind is on non existent mode. It's so worse that my little sister seems to outshine me on it.
Her blog post really touched me in more ways than I could even say. Her intellectual mindset still bothers me up to this day. She's brilliant. She seems to outdo me in every single thing I do whether it is writing, cooking and more. And to think that she doesn't want to be a writer. My writing is a complete sham compare to hers.
Anyways before I keep typing on how wonderful the little scum is, here is what she wrote about racism
http://princessynattirb.xanga.com/702595565/the-n-word-is-not-a-synonym-for-black/

men and mascara always run

So much for my promise to post every weekend. That promise was totally ruined a couple of weeks ago.
So here to be gracious: Here is more than a sentence of my story.

Those secluded words that I’ve been dying to say to him but never got the chance to. He didn’t wake up instead he grunted a little. My arms was wrapped shoulders. My mouth inched near his ear. I whispered
“ My heart will always be with you, Jake Lewis Lewinsky, I love you”

Sheesh y'all

I know, I know, improper English in my title. Sue me?
I got the book I was raving about for months now. Here is a picture to show you that I'm not bluffing.

FYI: This picture is pretty awkward. You can't see my face and the lighting is not very lucid.
Oh and my hair was in chaos.



I'm jumping out of my shorts shorts right now. I don't want to read it so soon. Whenever I read books so soon. I lose interest. Which isn't good. But, most likely I'm not going to lose interest.



..... Great.....

I'm contradicting myself. Just grand.


Amanda

I wouldn't mind getting my hands on.

PERFECT FIFTHS

COMES OUT TODAY!!!.

as lame as this sounds I can't wait for my mom to come home and for her to give me her credit card. I'm express delivering that book pronto!

Why does everything have to be so intense with me?

Well, It's spring break and I feel so embarrassed. Most kids spend their spring break productively I spend my spring break hanging out at home on the computer almost 24/7. There's nothing good on T.V. because most channels assume that kids are doing whatever kids do which does not involve T.V. watching on their spring break. I've been working on my story more than ever since this spring break started which is good for me. What is not good for me is my lack of social contact. This spring break is going to be a downer in a good way. I can concentrate on my writing which I would need in the future. Also it would give my readers a chance to get to know me more.


So, I've decided that this blog would be about all the stuff you never knew about me.

ZAZAM!.

1. I don't have a favorite color.
2. I'm a slight bit narcissist
3. I care about other people more than myself.
4. I want to be a writer( har dee har!). but mom doesn't have a clue.
5. I want to work for teen vogue for a little bit only because I want to wear some of the clothes in their magazine. They are so expensive and beautiful.
6. My mom thinks that I want to be a pharmacist.
7. I'm rethinking the whole prom thing. It's lame to dance in front of teacher, the main reason why I'm going is for the food.
8. I don't know why I said number seven because I never danced on a boy. EVER.
9. I'm kind of a jerk. A prick if you will.
10. I'm obsessed with reality T.V., shows like Real World, The Hills, The City and others amuse me
11. LOVES DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE.
12. I get annoyed pretty easily.
13. I drop friends like no tomorrow.
14. I find faults about people before I even talk to them.
15. Once you get on my nerves I don't ever want to talk to you.
16. I'm quiet. Too quiet for my own good.
17. I actually can't wait to get of my High School.
18. I dislike choices.
19. I rather an ipod in shuffle mode than choosing a song on my own.
20. Never been in love.
21. When people talk to me, I tend to block out everything they say. Bad I know.
22. I haven't had an attraction for a guy for a while now.
23. I don't want a knight in armor, I just want someone that can hold a intellectual conversation with me.
24. I lose focus way too easily.
25. I dislike talking.
26. I talk to my sisters more than anyone else.
27. Dislike people that is not doing anything with their life.
28. Whenever I write I go on thesaurus.com for some good juicy words.
29. Big words are so beautiful.
30. Vasectomy.- The male version of girls getting their tubes tied.
31. I listen to Colbie Caillat too much
32. My flirting sucks.
33. I read alot. I'm obsessed with reading.
34. Ordering books online is fun.
35. I liked this guy in Australia for a while now. I finally let go.
36. I am a home body.

Nothing is sweet about me

That's the name of my story. I love it alot.


AS PROMISED. ANOTHER EXCERPT FROM MY STORY.


The crisp air that filled my nostrils, joggers running around Central Park enjoying the sun, Upper East Side kids wearing their seek sucker uniforms sipping iced cappuccinos.

It's you I'm thinking of.

this artist has some great photography skills.
www.larajade.com check it out.

The lights was beyond my reach.

TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS.
TO SAVE THE EARTH.
WHEN: MARCH 28TH 8:30PM
END:MARCH 28TH 9:30
'

trust me you will feel great afterwards.

counting down.

I'm counting down for the Jessica Darling series final book
PERFECT FIFTHS.


woo! i'm so excited, I'm being such a nerd right now. So for a couple of days I'm going to inform you how long until it comes out. You could also pre-order it right now.

I'm so antsy.


20 DAYS.

Stressed indulgences.

French toast with bacon ice cream by stu_spivack

something fast and easy to eat. like ice cream.

But I know I got to put you down.

It's now 4:44 it's a palindrome. On Saturday, yeah I know a few days late I received my acceptance from a Community College. I remember sitting there, my sisters around me smiling I became very sad. See, I never imagined myself going to a community college. I imagined myself going to a NYU or a Princeton. But, How can I fool myself like that. I never busted my ass a day in my life for school until my junior year. My SAT was not up to par. Who was I to think so high of myself. I should be happy I got into college at all. Some people are not taking the time out to even apply to college. That is what I keep telling myself. But each time I say this repetitively to myself, I hear my heart going dump!.......................................dump!!!....................dump!!!. I feel so nostaglic. I mean who am I to judge this college, who knows if it won't be the best time of my life. Nope, I'm just sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I need to shake this pain and move on. I know the future is going to hold great things for me.

Ohh baby, if I was your lady.

want to create a book. but don't know how to. Do you want to buy your own book.? well join this site. and get started.

www.blurb.com

make you forget.

i wish i could forget you. but really, it's not so easy. You knew how I felt about you and you didn't take into consideration. Or at least I thought you knew how I felt about you. Boys suck. well not all.. just a big sum of them. This is why I stay boyfriendless. This blog is going to be short.

Listen to Matt Nathanson. His voice can send you in a deep high.

I'm really sad. I'm gonna go before my fucking tears arrive on my keyboard. Then, there would have to be a new one to replace it.

JOIN PLINKY.

it's a fun way to get blog topics and interact

heres mine
http://www.plinky.com/people/Missamanda740

the happiest people are those who think interesting thoughts.

As promise here's a piece from my story. remember it's only a sentence or two don't get your panties in a bunch.


Who dealt with my vivacious personality and actually had a penchant for it. You.

writer's block.

well not technically. See, lately I haven't posting up any kind of blog. Why? because I've had bloggers block. Sure, there are tons of topics for me to talk about but I seem to be running out of fresh ideas. On a good note. I've been free-writing alot. Thanks for this free writing I've been writing a story. And no I'm not going to be posting my story on here. It's just something that I do when I'm bored and putting it out there is a little bit extreme for me at this point. but from now since I have bloggers block I'm going to be posting a sentence or two from my story. so enjoy.
until next time
amanda

The best book that touched my heart in many ways.

The Jessica Darling series has touched my soul in many ways. This book is the reason why I decided to blog and get my ideas out, the reason why I decided to write in the first place. It gave me a reason to show my personality and feel less in the crowd. The continous series has come to an end. I feel very lethargic and heartbroken but at the same time happy. Now, I get to read about different characters the quirky author decided to come up with in her next book. Read the Perfect Fifths, It going to make your years fonder and your heart. Enjoy.!
Watch this video!

OHH! and after you are done watching this prodigious video. read this



Perfect fifths the last book of the Jessica Darling series can be pre-ordered RIGHT NOW!!. so get it :d
and join the rest of us readers break away from our favorite Heroin Jessica Darling. Her wit will be truly be missed.

I'm saying something that I should've never thought

Guess what today is?. 5 days away from Valentines day. excited? aghast? nervous? got your ultimate game face on. Are you the type of person that's ready to see who's the special lover boy that will treat you some Godiva chocolates, pink cupcakes that's way over sugar? or do you just want love and possible affection. well guys, I decided to make a valentine's day blog. Unfortunately , I may not have someone special in my life.But, I wouldn't mind putting down my ideas on my keyboard.
I decided to make a remake to the story "he's just not that into you" and also the film. Which I might end up watching the week even though the ratings were a C. So I going to see why it deserved the grade it received and why. I'll give back my evaluation ASAP. In the meantime, enjoy my remake and my opinions.
Scenario number one
1. You know when a guy is just not that into you when: you meet him a bar or a club one day and you manage to snag a dance with him. You suddenly "swoon" over his sexy moves and his impressive stature, and become head over heels. So after a couple of dances and quick one to one convo's over some drinks, you receive his number and he receives your number in return. Sounds like a plan right?. So you wait a few days hoping Mr.sexy legs calls with rendezvous occasion. Mr.provocative never shows up, never calls. Doesn't even bother sending text or voice mail. Lame. Maybe, but your even more inadequate to even think after a few chats He would even take notice in the fact that ,hey, I didn't even get the chance to get to know her.
2. You meet your high school crush at a local teen club or perhaps in an occasional bump to bump between classes. This dream guy that you are so in lust with happens to take notice in you after 3 years of total oblivion. Nice. So after the usual bumper he asks you out which is great. The date is at 7 in the night, fine. But your parents say the date has to end at 10. The night sounded so perfect to you so you didn't mind the time. So Mr. awe-inspiring picks you up and takes you to a classy restaurant. He takes out your chair for you, opens up the door for you, great intellect, and has considerable jokes. Then,all of sudden he becomes a total jerk, a total knockoff version of Mr.Right. He comes off with these lame jokes, like " hey great tits" and inappropriate behavior like rubbing a napkin on his teeth, the occasional scratching his ass, constantly clawing his hair which looks so gelled and yuck. Where did he come being a total jerk? He's obviously not that into you because he didn't prove his manliness and totally blew off the date being a nincompoop.
3. Don't let a guy that you've been talking to and dating occasionally off and on, put the infamous saying " let's just be friends" note. That's totally unfair. He has been getting his occasional hookups when he feels and promises that one day he'll come around and be the best boyfriend and long time "luvahhh". Get real. Babe, once he gets what he wants whenever he wants, and knows you don't get what you deserve, he'll end up being not into you and you will never be more than cuddle buddy.

Many great ideas have been lost because the people who had them could not stand being laughed at.

aloha! I haven't written a blog in such a long time. I've been extremely caught up with schoolwork which I've should've dealt with a long time but being the procrastinator that i am i finish them at the last minute. but on a good note I finished up all my assignments. now for a more considerable topic.

SUPERMAN OR JUST A REGULAR GUY.


As many of you know the inauguration of President Barack Obama was on Tuesday January 20th 2009. My school made most of the classes in my school watch a piece of it. The room never buzzed as much ever since I've been there my four years.
Alot of students divulged out words like change, transformation, black president. The noises they made was a cry of joy. Teachers had big smiles plastered on their faces as they watched the inauguration. For the first time I actually saw some of the students who rarely listen to anyone, meticulously listened to everything Obama said in his speech. They had the look of exhilaration. As if change was coming right there and then. When it ended we all left the classroom we were all bunched up in, kids still screaming out change.

I really dislike the fact that people automatically assumes change is coming just because there is a black president. Just because Obama says he's going to do this or he's going to that doesn't mean it's all going to happen at once. In fact, some things might not happen at all. He's not perfect, no one is. Yes, he is the president but there is so much things he could do for the United States. People have to realize that it's going to take some time for events and innovation to occur. He's not god rather he's not the person you worship. The world has to realize that. He may say this but he could actually do something else. Everybody does it. So why do people feel as if he's not going to do nothing wrong? Everybody's so eager to watch what he is going to do and will back up everything he does. Which is fine, but just remember at the end of the day we all entitled to our opinions. Just because Obama believes something is wrong or right doesn't mean your wrong. That's not the case at all. I just hope people get the chance to realize this.


Amanda

resolutions and asspot Procrastination

today is January 3rd of 2009. My,oh my!. Usually around these times I have a necessity. It is a " necessity" that everyone else seems to have during these times. This necessity is done the day before new years or for the people that decide on choices the day of an occasion, they do it on New Years day. This little necessity rather huge necessity is to make a resolution. Over the years I managed to make these " elusive" resolutions thinking that I might actually achieve them. Some were getting my first kiss. That resolution is probably one of the most favorable resolution any girl can have. Another one of mines was to stop being so gee Dee(god damn) over sensitive and open up to people. Boy, did I let myself down that year. But then I've come to realize something about myself. I'm such a gee Dee procrastinator. Let's say there is a project that is due in a week. This project is like a midterm or whatever. Or let's say counted as a test. Ack. *notice my distaste in the subject*. I mean not to get off topic or anything like that, but uh, why do teachers count shit as test? That is like their easiest way to slack off. They do this because there are no papers to grades, less time to waste, and just like the rest of us they actually want to enjoy their time away from school as possible. Shit, I find almost every excuse not to be stuck at school.

But that besides the point.
Me, being me, I do this project 2 days before it's actually due. Why? I'm the biggest procrastinator in the world. I'm the girl that studys straight before a test. Like the period before. Or if I'm in a really good mood I study the night before.

Geez, I swear I don't know what is wrong with me.

So this year I decided not to make a resolution. I did this because I know I can't keep a promise to myself. or rather I procrastinate a extreme bunch. I have to stop this.

Amanda.